Amazing!

So, Today was one of those days that I just wasn't feeling the best & my stomach was giving me horrible issues. Now we all know as "moms" when you feel like crud, you can't just stop everything because you don't feel well; we still have little ones to attend to.

Well.....my oldest boy Dillon (age 7) saw that I was not feeling well & said he would take care of youngest brother Braydon (age 4 months). Now in my mind I was thinking, "no way" it will end up a disaster & he will end up hurting Braydon or doing something wrong. Well let me tell you.....I was soooooo WRONG!!! I ended up being in the bathroom for quite some time & when I came out to my surprise this is what I found........

He had put his very tired (fussy) 4 month old brother to sleep, and fell asleep himself :) AMAZING!!!! Kids can really step up to the plate and do a lot more than what we give them credit for. I had simply asked Dillon to hold Braydon while I was in the bathroom and he took it upon himself to take it several steps further. What a wonderful BIG BROTHER he is!

I am very blessed & smitten by the 3 little men in my life!

If I had Known!!!

Well it has been a little over a year since my last post & let me just start off by saying, WOW it has been a very LONG trialsom year!!!



The title of this post is "IF I HAD KNOWN" because if you read my previous post (last October) I talk a lot about Trails & Tribulations that the Lord has us walk through, and this Past year has definitely been just that!



If you scroll down my blog page you will see a "new" blue eyed precious little boy named Braydon! Yes, we have had our 3rd boy! :)

Let me rewind to the beginning of 2010.... We found out the end of January that we were expecting or 3rd child to our surprise, since Jamie & I had really thought that we would not be having anymore biological kids of our own, but the Lord had other plans!



It was a definite SURPRISE to us & it was really hard for me to get really excited, because I new that if this pregnancy played out like my first 2 boys, then we had a long road ahead of us! And it was truly a very hard & long 9 months! I threw up every single day up until delivery & was very very nausea's and sick. (with my other boys I was extremely sick, but it lasted only about 4 1/2 months) It was not only hard on me, but so hard on Jamie & the other two boys, because I literally could not be the Mom & wife that I normally was & it took a lot of patience and love from everyone.



With that being said, the Lord really revealed & showed me many things about Himself & about who He made me to be during this past year! I grew in ways that I might have never grown, if I hadn't been so broken & week on a daily bases before Him!



One day in particular sticks in my mind & I think always will.........I was somewhere around my 3rd month of pregnancy and was pretty much bed ridden (since all I did all day long was get sick & truthfully could not move from the coach), when I felt like the Lord said "Christy, I know you are at one of your weakest points right now, and you feel very discouraged, helpless and lonely, but I want you to worship me & praise me through this", and right then I got off the coach & fell on my knees before Him and just wept & worshiped Him! It was truly just an amazing & intimate time with the Lord.



Another life lesson that I learned was obedience! I knew as soon as we got pregnant that I would want to find out whether this was going to be a boy or a girl. We had not found out with either of the other boys what they were, and while I had LOVED that surprise factor, my spirit just really wanted and needed to know what the sex of this baby was going to be. I told Jamie that I really wanted to find out, and he was really reluctant, but then said ok......Well that changed too!

One day I was sitting on the coach sick (little to your surprise, right?) and I had been thinking a lot about finding out the sex and getting really excited and anxious & right then the Lord spoke to me as plain as I have ever heard His voice say to me...... "No Christy, you are not to find out the sex of this baby, I want you to totally trust in what I have already planned & I don't want you to find out so that you can "cope" I want you to just "trust". See in my mind because we had already had 2 boys, there was that longing in my heart to have a daughter, and I thought that if I found out what we were going to have then I could just come to terms & cope with it ahead of time..... but the Lord had other plans & wanted me to just trust. Let's just say that it was extremely hard to not find out and to just surrender those hopes & dreams to Him!


Fast forwarding to delivery day!!! I woke up at 1:00 am (3 1/2 weeks early from my due date) with my water breaking! Jamie & I got the other 2 boys up, got ourselves ready & headed to the hospital. Because Dillon & Connor were both c-sections, we already had a c-section scheduled. As we were heading into the c-section room, Jamie & I were really praying that the Holy Spirit would just be very real & heavy upon us in the delivery room & that His presence would be so prevalent. We were both very nervous about how our emotions might play out if they announced it's a Boy! We did not want to have an ounce of disappointment and we just did not want to be faced with that emotion. As Jamie sat there and held my hand, we prayed & cried together as they were preparing to deliver the baby and the Lord's presence was definitely very thick in that room. When we heard the first little cries & they announced "it's a Boy" we both just looked at each other and cried in amazement & love for this little precious boy, named Braydon!


As I don't understand & fully know why the Lord wanted us to just trust & obey in not finding out, or even why I had to be so sick the whole 9 months; looking back I am so glad that we waited because something amazing and awesome happened in that delivery room, one that we might not have experienced, if we had not listened to what the Lord was asking us. And He was soooooo faithful and really allowed us not to be disappointed & allowed us to completely fall in love & bond with this little guy! As a women I think I will always want to know what it is like to have a daughter, and I might never find out what it is like; but what I do know is, that I trust in my Heavenly Father and I have 3 amazing little men in my life that I wouldn't trade for anything!

So I guess what I am saying is that when we are walking through things that we can't understand or comprehend, we have to just totally surrender ourselves in trusting the "One" who has our best interest & desires planned out before we ever existed!

Trials & Tribulations... We all have them!

Ok, well I know it has been a while since I last posted anything, but I have just felt very led to wait on the Holy spirit to prompt me when to write and what to write, so with that said....might be weeks or months in between blogs, we will just have to wait and see!!! :)

The Lord has been teaching me many lessons lately, and have been walking through many trials in the last month, but one thing that I feel like He has showed me very clear is, that no matter what trials or tribulations that you are walking through, if you are pressing into Him with all that you have and wanting to know Him more deeply and more intimately, those trials and tribulations are leading to VICTORY!!!

A lot of times in my life when I have felt like I was walking through something really tough, I have felt very discouraged and not sure what was taking place, but as I am understanding God's heart more and growing closer to Him, I am starting to understand a little better about what trials truly mean....

When we start pressing in harder, growing more intimately, walking more into our calling for the kingdom, knowing ourselves better through His eyes.... trials will occur because Satan wants nothing more to stop us in our tracts.... Also when we humble ourselves before the Lord and say "Lord show me & use me for your kingdom, I am laying it all down" He will start rooting things up that don't belong, or reveal things to us that might not feel the best, so that we can understand His heart & calling for each one of us more clear!

The one thing I absolutely know without a shadow of doubt is.... that as a Christian as we grow closer to Him, you will absolutely go through really tough & hard trials!!! There is no way around that. But the HOPE in that is knowing that there will be VICTORY on the other side, and while it might really hurt & be uncomfortable going through them, you will be stronger because of them...so I guess that what I am trying to say is..... instead of butting heads with trials and tribulations, if we could embrace them and say "Lord this really hurts right now, but I know that you are having me walk through this because YOU are Victorious, and you are growing me & molding me into what it truly is that you have for me!!! And as we might not understand it at all...trusting in HIS TRUTHS and leaning on HIM is the ONLY way!!

The other thing that has seemed to come even clearer to me lately is that when things don't happen the way that you think they should, our hearts attitudes should be... Lord how are you using me in this situation? and as it is not happening the way that I think it should, I TRUST you fully!!! Use me as YOU desire, not how I desire. Because when we trust HIM fully, truthfully we shouldn't be having a "Pity party" for ourselves, because HIS plan is soooooo much better than what we could have ever expected!

The verse that comes to mind while writing this is one that I think we should repeat to ourselves every time we are walking through something that we just don't understand or get.... "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge HIM, and He will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3: 5-6) So as we might not understand WHY??? if we truly TRUST in HIM, and I mean TRULY TRUST IN HIM, then He will direct us and get us through anything that life might throw at us!!

"Lord, please help me fully walk into what you have on my life, and let me not get discouraged by trials, or things that I just don't understand, and let me rest in YOU and your plans for me, not my own!! Give me grace when I mess up, and humbleness to admit when I am wrong. Help me embrace these TRIALS in life as stepping stones & maturity in YOU."

Revision of Dr. Suess Quote!

Ok, OK..... I am now feeling that the Holy Spirit is convicting me of the quote that I first wrote about & posted on my Face book page. I know a lot of you agreed with the quote & so did I at first, and I guess it really is the way you look at it from a biblical stance. (so some of you might have already looked at it this way)

First off let me say this, I really liked this quote because of what I was writting about in my first blog entry about caring about what people think, can hold a lot of us back from walking into the calling Christ has for each one of us, and hold us back from speaking what He has imparted to us.

With that said.... I think from a Christian stand point the quote should have said " Be who God created you to be & walk into the calling God placed on You, because those who mind don't understand, and those who understand don't mind."

Now, I know some of you might say, "you are analizing this way too much" , and maybe I am, but because I do care deeply about people, I can't just say "Be who you are, say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Because truthfully we do matter ecspecially to God, even if we disagree with how someone is acting or what they might be saying.

Truthfully we should be who we are (in accordance to what God created us to be) and we should say what we feel (also in accordance with how the Holy Spirit prompts us), but I know there are many circumstances in my life that I have wanted to say what I felt about a particular matter, but didn't, because even though I knew that I was feeling soooo strongly & passionatly about a certain matter, I knew that some of what I was feeling was coming from me just being a human "born into sin".

Ecspecially us women who many of times, speak out of feelings (because as women we Feel Deeply!!!) but sometimes those feelings as strong as they might be, are not being prompted by the Holy spirit, they are coming from an emotion or certain insecurities, because if we are all thruthful with ourselves, we do sometimes say things upon an emotion or an insecurity that we might be dealing with.

I also think sometimes what we are feeling can simply be just that, a feeling, and not the truth per say. So if we all went around speeking what we felt, and then saying if someone had a problem with it, then they didn't matter.......I personally feel like would be an injustice and not the "heart of God".

Ok, maybe that is way too deep, but just felt like I needed to restate what I was feeling about the quote and how I think it should have been stated & taken! (still love me some Dr. Suess though)! :)

Something to think about!!!

Today I heard something that just really got me thinking pretty hard about how we worship & what that means to us!

I hear so often (and I have been guilty of it many times), worship just wasn't that great, didn't really get anything out of it. Before, I would just think, well... maybe the Holy spirit isn't moving strong today, or maybe the worship team just wasn't on their game, etc... the excuses could go on & on!

But really we have to ask ourselves, what is worship? Worship isn't just a time on Sunday morning that we anticipate the Holy Spirit to move & we feel connected. Woship is an expression of our love & connection to Christ! If we go all week long looking forward to Sunday morning's worship so that we can feel connected to God & then don't feel connected, maybe the real question should be.... was I in relationship with Him this week, was I connecting to Him on my own? Was I worshiping Him everyday? Did I find time to just really talk & communicate with Him?

I know in the past their have been many Sunday mornings, or even just worship services that I just have felt disconnected & then their are other times that I feel like I just couldn't feel more connected, and because worship has been such a passion of mine & been such a big part of my life ever since I was a little girl, when I wasn't "feeling it" it was really discouraging to me.... I know sometimes I would look around and say to myslef, how is it that that person is at the same church, same worship time & is really connecting to worship & I am not feeling it at all????

But knowing that worship is sooooooo much more than just Sunday mornings, or just a "hear or their" thing, knowing that you have to make it an everyday thing, and when you do that no matter where you are or how good the worship time is, you should feel the connection & expression, because you yourself have been living it daily! (trust me I am preaching to myself hear as well) :)

Quote of the day!!!

A quote that I stumbled upon today really hit home for me, alot of what I have struggeled with in my life.

The quote is this... "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

Because I am a person who cares so deeply for others, what others think about me, really has played a huge part in "what I think about myself"! I get so caught up in what others might think, that in a lot of circumstances I just don't "be me", or I don't "say what I want or feel like I need to say"!

This is something that I feel like the Lord has really been working with me on, and to just step out when He says to, and not care so much about what others might say or think, because in all reality, what He thinks Matters!

I truly believe after talking to a lot of other women, that so many of us don't ever truly walk into our calling in life, because we are so concerned with what others might think, that it holds us down! I am here to tell you that is one of Satan's biggest, uggliest lies!!!

One thing that has been waying on my mind a lot lately is this.... when I get to heaven and the Lord is looking at how much I walked into the calling He had placed on my life, I don't want to be standing there looking at this amazing plan & destiny that He had for me & me only walking into it barely because of "what others might have thought of me". (no way I am putting my foot down & saying NO MORE!!!! I will not let others hold me down & I will not let myself hold me back!